Saying hi to swingsets.

Karin is asleep upstairs, Liam is asleep in his crib next to me and I am going to post quickly before trying to get some sleep myself.

Haven't put any photos up in a while. Let's fix that shall we,

Want to see the Greatest Picture Ever? I thought so...

That's the greeting I got from my boy when I met him and his mother at the Dr.'s office on friday afternoon. Most of his Doc's have offices within a couple hundred yards of my office and so Karin packed him up and brought him all by herself and I met them once they got there. Karin snapped this with her phone when I sat down with Liam in the waiting room and said hi. Look at that grin. The picture, of course, has been on my office computer screen ever since.


Over the weekend we also got a chance to go to a special park that featured swings and playground equipment for kids of all ages and disabilities. The event was put on for families of the VIP program (Ventilator Integration Program) and was a chance for us to hang out and meet families going through very similar situations. We were able to finally meet in person a family that we have only known through facebook and text messages who have very similar circumstances. They're good people, and I'm happy to have friends who understand what we're going through right now.

Liam got to ride on a swing for the first time! It was a neat swing that held his whole stroller on a platform chained to the swingset. His mother and I took turns pushing while the other snapped photos. He seemed to enjoy the breeze while swinging through the air. Awesome stuff indeed.




I'm tired now and need to get some sleep so I'll put one more up and bid you all a good night. Sleep tight.

Pictures, pictures, pictures.

Well I'm feeling much better but unfortunately despite my better efforts at staying as far away from him as I could Liam has caught my cold. Karin has caught it as well but there's little chance of a cold sending her to the hospital. We're pretty sure we've gotten through the worst of it with Liam and the congestion seems to have stayed in his head and not made it down to his lungs thank God. He is cranky and irritable and doesn't show much interest in being near anyone. Just like his daddy behaves when he's sick.

There really isn't much more to report right now since this cold has in turns kept us all home and in bed. Here's some photos from the past few weeks time. There not necessarily new pictures but I haven't posted many pictures lately and so I'm making up for that here. Its 3am right now and I'll just throw those up before heading to bed.

Bath Time Fun!



















Liam finally was able to meet some of his Great Great Aunts (my Nan's sisters) who have wanted to meet him for so long but just weren't able due to sicknesses or other complications.

My Nan is the one facing the camera. Of course in true Liam fashion he slept through the whole thing.
But even in sleep Liam likes holding hands as you can see above.

Karin has vowed to never cut Liam's hair and I don't blame her. How could we cut off that beautiful curl he gets going on top of his head?


I've mentioned in the past that it annoys Karin when I take pictures of food so in true husband fashion these next few are for her. I made a kick-ass stir-fry last week and couldn't help but take a few pictures of all the colors just for her. If you are interested in seeing a very cool food blog that includes amazing photos of food check out David Lebovitz's blog. He's a cookbook writer who tells of his adventures since moving to Paris and his food photos in every post are fantastic.

Looking more like his Mom lately.

Well, we've been home since Wednesday afternoon and it has been a whirlwind of a week. I've worked everyday this week and besides all the hospital stuff and catching up Karin has been dealing with daily phone calls to insurance companies, doctor's offices and pharmacies. As I've said before, being Liam's secretary, sorry executive assistant, is a full time job. We are still very tired. Liam is adjusting back to his old self although he owes us a poop and better pay up tonight.

Hopefully the weekend will be nice and uneventful. We all need our rest.

As I was writing this I started hearing what I thought was a leak in Liam's trach. After a thorough investigation I have concluded that it was actually the cat. Snoring. Lying next to Liam's crib. Good thing I woke up the boy to make sure his trach was attached correctly and that his ties weren't too loose. Awesome.

I've got a few longish posts about the hospital stay and about being hospital parents 80% written but they are in notebooks and the last thing I feel like doing at this particular moment is typing and editing so I'll once again quickly throw a few random thoughts together and call it a blog post.

****

As has so often happened this week, the topic of conversation last night turned to some part of digestion.
"yeah its kind of like that coffee that I read about that is only brewed after the coffee beans have been eaten by some monkeys and shit out." I said, making conversation with Karin when without missing a beat or cracking a smile she looked at me and said matter of factly,

"oh, you mean Folgers."

I hadn't laughed as hard in weeks. Just thinking about it now makes me laugh. I am very lucky to be married to someone who after all these years still makes me laugh more than anyone else I know.

****

Liam has woken up and sorry folks but he's a lot more fun than typing on this silly laptop so I am signing off for the night. Hope you all have a pleasant weekend and If I don't make it back before Sunday night, Go Saints!

Hospital Stay #4 Day 4

Another day of progress at the Hasbro Hilton. (Even after spending 108 days here at Hasbro Childrens Hospital in the Intensive Care Unit I never heard it referred to as the Hasbro Hilton) Since nothing significant ever happens in a hospital unless its emergent, we finally met with some of the doctors we really wanted to see today. KArin met with our amazing pediatrician who was very happy to see how much better Liam is feeling. He has called us a few times a day since we got here on Friday but today was the first day he was able to see Liam. While he was here talking to Karin, and waiting for me to get my lazy ass up and at 'em, Liam's equally amazing surgeon came to see him and check out all of his x-rays. While hanging out and chit-chatting with Karin our surgeon started complimenting our pediatrician on a lecture he gave recently and then he went ahead and did it. Right there in front of Karin. He popped the question. "So uh, will you be my kid's doctor?"

We feel like matchmakers. Both of these wonderful men have meant so much to our family. Both have been there for us through some of our highest highs and lowest lows. And while we always knew that our pediatrician was a brilliant man and wonderful doctor, to have another brilliant, wonderful doctor trust him with his own children reinforces our belief that we could not have chosen a better pediatrician.

*****

Liam was able to start eating today! We started slow with only a teaspoon per hour of pedialyte but have doubled that since this morning and doubled that again about an hour ago he will be back to formula soon as long as he tolerates what we are pumping in tonight. Things are moving along swimmingly and since he barely slept in the last few days because of the pain he was in, he has slept all day and continues to be sound asleep.

Karin is at home tonight. I am here. What will I sleep in you ask? Don't worry, the uncomfortable chair in Liam's room unfolds to become a very uncomfortable bed!
With one of us here with him at all times and me going back to work today Karin and I have spent a total of 0 minutes together outside of this hospital room in the last 4 days. Someday I might actually get to spend time alone in a room with my wife again. Someday.


****


Okay, Liam report winding down. On to the results of the 'How many Law & Order episodes did we watch over the weekend?" Well, the answer surprised me. Law & Order has been a time wasting staple of ours through all of our different hospital stays and with at least one of us here with Liam 24 hours a day and it being shown on no less than five of the channels we have here I expected a much larger number. I did have a few guidelines that I suppose I should have outlined before the weekend. 1.) If we found an episode we had to stop flipping and watch the remainder of it. 2.) Since we are in the hospital and things like talking to doctors can get in the way, watching the whole episode was not necessary to count as an episode watched.

Final Tally: 14.

I am disappointed. I thought we'd be able to get a few more in there. But A&E was showing an Intervention marathon on sunday and that is one train wreck that neither of us can look away from. So it stayed at 14 episodes from Friday morning to Sunday night, which would make the winning guess Kathy's guess of 22. Unless we are using Price is Right rules in which case the winner is me with a guess of one dollar. Congratulations Kathy. Enjoy the bragging rights.

****

Oh, I have pictures! Nothing special just a few pictures I got with my phone today because the boy was looking so damn cute while taking a nap with his mom. We haven't been able to hold him the last few days because of how much pain his belly made him feel so it truly warmed my heart to walk into his room after work today to see this...And then I had to take this next one to show off all that hair! Love those curls.

Its late and I'm tired. I will lie down and pretend to sleep as the nurses and respiratory therapists make their way in and out of the room. Hopefully the housekeeping staff will get to this floor later than last time I tried sleeping here. Gotta love how they think they can vacuum around my chair without waking me up.

Day three.

Day three has been the most eventful yet for Hospital Stay # 4. I just changed his fifth dirty diaper! A huge step towards getting better. He has been battling some seizures because with him so backed up the last 4 days not much of his medication has been absorbed into his system. After 2 days of trying we finally convinced enough doctors that the best thing to do is change his doses to be put into his IV not his feeding tube. We have the access point while here at the hospital we might as well use it.

After a very, very, rough night last night the poops this morning was a welcomed sight. He fell asleep in the early afternoon and slept better than he has in at least 4 days. He looked calm and comfortable which has us all very excited.

Karin's turn to spend the night with Liam and I will hold down the fort at home. The cats have gotten very ornery lately without any human contact and so I'll try to pet them before I crash into bed. Very little sleep last night should keep me tired enough to fight off worry induced insomnia.

Hope everyone had a better weekend than we did.

Night all.

Like riding a torturous bike.

It may be missing a seat and hurt like hell but you never forget how to ride.

Liam is back in the hospital.

He will be fine and although we pushed for it hard we are not admitted into the ICU. Unfortunately, we are setting up camp on the 4th floor. He hasn't pooped in three days and his full belly is affecting his breathing but more importantly we are unable to give him his meds by I.V. at home and so a short stay here at Hasbro Children's Hospital was necessary.

It amazes me how quickly we all adapt to our roles when we get back into 'hospital mode'. The little things we've learned that come back so quickly. The parking spot in the garage that no one knows about and the secret that going through the RIH ER will get you into this hospital quicker. The subtle wrist flick to show the security guard the bracelet that says 'visiting hours don't apply to me' even with your arms full of stuff. That certain elevators shut down at night and on the weekend. That it is always, always a better idea to get your dinner somewhere else instead of getting a tray of the hospital food. Its like we never left. We know how to survive this.

It came on quickly, as it always does. He was fine until yesterday afternoon. After tolerating his 3:00pm feed Liam started showing signs that his belly hurt. He was cranky and irritable and didn't want to be touched by anyone. He didn't even take his 6:00pm feed and by the time he needed his 8:00pm round of meds he was distended and angry. If he was awake he was crying; and Liam doesn't cry.

We kept a close eye on him overnight with the help of our night nurse. He didn't seem any better in the morning and by 7:30am it was apparent that we would be heading to the hospital for an x-ray at least. 8am is a perfect time to go to the emergency room. No line at check in and no wait to be seen. Walking in with your baby on a ventilator usually lets us skip to the front anyway, but today we didn't even need to.

X-rays are not showing anything serious and there is no reason to get surgery involved yet. The kid is just full of shit. For today the plan is to give his stomach a rest and let him get his meds and nutrition through his IV. Tomorrow we'll try something more aggressive. We've been weaning him off of a particular medicine that helps with his motility and this is probably just his body showing us that he would prefer it if we didn't do that. Once we get what is backed up in there out, we can simply start up the med again to keep him regular.

Karin will be spending the night here with him tonight and its my turn tomorrow. Liam is riding out this hospital stay the way he rides them all out. By sleeping through it. He hasn't woken up much today and I don't expect much activity out of him tonight. His mom will be with him to keep him comfortable and I'll be at home tossing and turning in bed and feeling guilty that I'm not here even though only one of us are allowed to sleep in the room. (not counting Liam of course)

That's where we're at. Just passing time while Liam gets better. There are a limited number of channels on the tv in his room and yet I am always able to find some flavor of Law & Order to watch. Guess how many you think we'll see and I'll post the tally on Monday. Have a good weekend everybody and pray that my little guy poops.

What happened to me this afternoon with a couple of new pictures

"Its the whole neighborhood right? I mean... you guys are working on it?" The rain was coming down in buckets while I stood next to the pickup truck of the power company supervisor. "My son inside is on a ventilator and we have about 8 hours of battery but after that we'll have to go to the hospital unless you can get the power back on soon." I was glad that I had stepped onto the porch at just the right time to flag down this guy. The power had been out for about a half hour at this point.

"Looks like a fuse blew on the pole here." He said pointing across the street from my house at the same time a large cherry picker rumbled up to the pole. "He's gonna re-fuse it now and you should be all set." He seemed to be annoyed with my questions but I didn't care.

"Well, as long as it doesn't take 8 hours, I really don't want to spend time in the hospital because of a bit of rain and wind." We actually had 12 - 16 hours of battery life but he didn't need to know that. The old man assured me it would only take a few minutes and I ran inside to get out of the rain. Liam was resting in his special tomato and never in any danger but not having anywhere to plug in his equipment was stressing me out.

I watched the tech jump into his basket and put new fuses into the transformer on the power line and the lights were on in a flash. I hooked Liam back into the main power and got the battery recharging just in case we'd need it again. The trucks drove away and Karin and I got Liam ready for his visitors. Within a few minutes the whole gang was here. His physical therapist, his occupational therapist, the services coordinator from Liam's early intervention program and a nurse from the same program all got comfy around Liam on the floor and we started his exercises and talk about any changes needed for his care. I am usually at work when PT is here and so I was excited to work with his therapist to make sure the stretches that I work with Liam are the right moves. While normally we meet with only one or two of them at a time today was just a meeting to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Starting at his toes and working our way up with stretches, we barely made it to his knees when the power went out again. We hooked Liam back up to his battery and put an HME into his circuit. The HME acts as a nose, humidifying and warming the air pumped through his circuit while his humidifier and heater are without power. Nothing that we could do would change the power problem so we proceeded with Liam's work. I'm so proud of all that he's accomplished. His flexibility and muscle control have improved so much since we started meeting with physical therapy. Today he was active and eager to participate. He recognized himself in the mirror and was quite enamored with what he saw. That kid of mine is amazing.




When your child has the kind of medical needs that Liam does your life is filled with contingency plans. Most of them end with "and if that doesn't work, just go to the emergency room." Its not an option I like to think about. Simply walking in the door will more than likely leave us stuck there for a few days no matter the reason and going there for a non-health related reason would really piss me off. As well as probably pissing off my shitty insurance company. Yes we could go to my parents' house with all of our portable equipment for a while and we would, long before we would go back to the hospital, but that doesn't make it any less stressful. The waiting. Which would come first? Our contingency plan or the repair to the power lines? It made me miss the days of worrying only about the food in the fridge when the power went out.

It was only a few minutes before the supervisor from the power company pulled up and parked in front of the house. We are on a registry with the state Department of Health and with the power company for people on life support equipment but I'm sure that it was because I flagged him down earlier that he stopped by and not some sort of protocol. Either way it was much appreciated. He let me know what was going on, and that a second truck was needed for the repairs down the road. It would be almost an hour and a half before the work would be completed. It didn't take nearly that long but at least I was prepared for it. I was useless for the remainder of the appointment as my attention could not by taken away from the two crews of guys working to restore my power. The rain and wind made what is already a dangerous job look even more terrifying.

The power was back on again in half the time we thought it would take. The trucks took off and all of our visitors finished up their paperwork and left in almost the same order they arrived. All of the sudden Karin, Liam and I were home alone and all was well. Liam, tuckered out from his workout, lay asleep on a quilt on the floor. Karin and I settled in on the couch for a relaxing cup of coffee and something to watch on TV.

It was an eventful afternoon but we are none the worse for wear. As I said I couldn't be prouder of Liam for all of the progress he's made and his willingness to work hard for us during his workout. 9 months in a hospital bed and his syndrome have left his muscle tone a bit weak for his age but he remains undeterred and is still getting stronger by the day. Go Liam!





Its back to work tomorrow for me and Karin has plans throughout the day with a very, very close friend who she doesn't get to see very often. It will be her first meeting of Liam and it is a very big deal. I'm sorry that I'm going to miss it. Have a good night all. There are a few pictures since I haven't posted any in a while. The one of his lion hat is a few weeks old but the other was taken during the power outage.

Night all.

A day off for the ages folks. Both fun and productive which is a good combination since its usually one or the other. Or neither.

Anyway, the day started with Karin and I getting to sleep late. The new nurse impressed us enough yesterday that we felt confident enough we didn't need to be hovering over her today. Karin came back to bed after greeting her and we got a few restful hours. Liam finally fell back asleep for the nurse around 8:30am after being awake most of the night and we new he'd be done for until the afternoon. After leisurely making breakfast and checking emails Karin and I took advantage of our nursing situation and left the house together.

Let me say that again, really let it wash over you this time. Karin and I were able to leave the house together and spend a few hours out there in the world.

We went to the gym and worked out together before going out to lunch. It was fun and calming and we both needed it.

After lunch I took the christmas lights off of the house and attempted to clean the leaves from the yard that I wasn't able to get before the first snow. That's when I realized I didn't have a rake, only a leaf blower, and even though the snow is gone most of the leaves are still frozen to the ground. "Mission leaf-clean-up" was quickly abandoned in favor of "Mission cup-of-coffee-on-the-couch". A mission that I was well suited for and accomplished with relish.

Already one of my more productive days, I wasn't done yet. At about 3pm my father came over and we got to work on finishing up some shelving units we built for my basement. There is still some unpacking work to be done down there but I'm better prepared for it now. Hey, give us time, we only moved in 8 months ago! Dad finished up our last project and I organized a spot for our next.

My father has given me his two Epson 3000 Color Printers. Fickle machines they are, one will be used for parts. A beast of a printer, it needs some cleaning but I can't wait to get it up and running. I feel like Gutenberg and I'm ready to start my own print shop. Producing my own prints has already gotten me excited about photography again. I needed a place to put my new equipment and so my dad and I built another shelving unit for it and in the process put together a small office space for it in the basement. I can't wait to get started.

My mom came by as we were finishing up and my parents got to spend some time with a decidedly sleepy little boy. The day was capped with an excellent shepherd's pie made by The Wife and watching TV while holding my boy who of course woke up ready to play at about 10:30 at night. I'm beginning to think that we have spawned a vampire. Not a sparkly girly Twilight vampire but a badass tough guy vampire like in Lost Boys. I'm on team Liam.

Well that's that. Karin is upstairs getting ready for bed. Liam is being read to by his favorite home nurse and I am boring you all with lame stories about shelves and leaves. Have a good weekend folks. Oh, and for the "pics or it didn't happen" crowd, if you thought reading about it was boring try this on for size...

Now who's got something that needs printing?

Its all about Liam.

I'm blogging earlier than usual today as Karin is at the gym and I am up to answer any questions for our new nurse who just started. The first day with a new nurse is always a bit of work to put together. They need to get to know Liam. They need to get to know us. More importantly we need to get to know them and whether or not they will be a good fit for our family. These people are in our home; having a nursing degree and some experience is not enough to ensure that they'll work out.

So far so good with this nurse. She seems knowledgeable and pleasant enough. One concern is that she is allergic to cats. I can't tell you how many times we have told the agency about our cats but nurses who are trained to handle trach and vents aren't all that common and sometimes we have to take what we can get.

Our usual daytime nurse needed to take some time off which Karin and I can completely understand. It will take some time before we can both leave the house or sleep late again. Hopefully this new nurse will catch on quickly and Liam will like her and we can get back to planning our mornings to include running errands and going to the gym together. We'll see. Liam hasn't woken up yet so we aren't even sure how he will respond to her. I think he'll like her but we'll see.

Liam did great at his pediatrician's appointment yesterday. To get all the dirty details out of the way he is now weighing in at a lean 21lbs 7oz and 27inches long. He is now officially, and for the first time in his life, tracking along the growth curve. Gone is the ever increasing chunkiness he's now a lean mean pooping machine. We discontinued one of his GI meds and are on our way to getting rid of another in the next month. Yay!
Liam and his daddy at the Doctor's office.

He had to get his 12 month immunizations and so got 3 shots all at once and then needed a blood draw to check a CBC and Electrolytes. My boy is one tough cookie because he took all those needles like a champ. HE even fell asleep as the lab techs in the office hemmed and hawed over where oh where to stick him for the blood work. They were so distraught made worse by the fact that when they asked where he would get blood work when in the hospital Karin told them that he had to have a central line put in by a surgeon. They were not happy to hear that. They did their jobs well though because since they took so long t find just the right spot once they did stick him they were able to get everything they needed rather than be forced to make multiple attempts.

After his appointment we all came home and since I had the day off from work we were all able to take a nap in the living room together. Wonderful Quiet. It was a wonderful day. There truly is nothing better than taking a nap with the boy.

So there you have it. Liam has had an exciting couple of days and is still sleeping as we speak. It is possible though that he is playing possum and pretending to sleep because he doesn't know the strange older woman sitting next to his crib. He does that sometimes, hoping that if he doesn't open his eyes the strange woman will just go away. No such luck buddy, her shift ends at 2pm.

Can you fall asleep with the hiccups?

Liam has finally fallen asleep for the night. It's 1:44am. He has decided that 2am suits him as a bedtime and we are powerless to stop it. Try as we may to keep him up through the day to tire him out, he simply refuses to settle into bed early. Tonight I hope he sleeps well. He should.

He had another seizure tonight. This one was a doozy. He settled quickly after his diastat but the dose doesn't guarantee sleep the way it used too. His post seizure hiccups kept him up for a while. But he's asleep now. Good thing too as we are due in the pediatricians office for a visit and another round of immunizations bright and early at 8:30am. I've got the portable ventilator all set up and ready for a quick exit in the morning. We're getting pretty good at the travel thing. Me? I'm going to need a nap tomorrow for sure. Luckily I have the day off from work, since today was originally scheduled for a trip to the eye doctor in Boston for a fairly complex procedure. With the night Liam had I'm glad we'll only have to drive a few minutes away.

Don't get me wrong the kid is doing fine. His numbers and lung sounds are great but the seizures take a lot out of him and he'll probably be a bit cranky in the morning. Liam, like his daddy, has never been a morning person. I better get myself to bed soon too.

We had a good weekend. Liam got to spend a lot of time with his Meme and Grampa (my parents) while Karin and I got some work done around the house. The second floor is shaping up nicely and I only wish I had this weekend off as well to really finish it up. My father and I also spent most of Sunday working on building a shelving system so that I can organize the rest of the junk we have accumulated over the years. Its surprising how many christmas decorations I already own given that this is the first year we've really decorated for christmas. We had some major stress that involved one of Liam's meds and the morons who run its only distribution pharmacy and he had a few strong seizures as we work on adjusting his dose of that med. Par for the course in Liam's world. He handles it all better than I do. We finished it all off by cheating on our diets and ordering chinese food and watching the end of the football game. (How does a team with a quarterback who is NOT ALLOWED TO THROW THE FOOTBALL end up in the AFC Championship game???) Although I had some plans with a friend that I wasn't able to make, it was still a very good weekend.

The slow rhythm of Liam's vent is starting to put me to sleep now so I will end here. Hope everyone had a nice Martin Luther King Day, and I hope that you give to the Red Cross as much as you can spare. The people of Haiti need it more than you do.

The essence of this blog project was always a lesson in self-discipline. To get me writing every day (or two, or three). It's been a while since I wrote any true blog posts. I have notes jotted down on some things I really want to talk about but those things take time and energy to write. And I'm tired. Waa, waa waa, I worked all day, I have a baby at home, I didn't get much sleep last night (last week, last month, last year) blah, blah, blah.

Excuses.

Anyway, I may not have the energy to write the longer pieces I want to write so I'll throw together a bunch of smaller bits and see what sticks.

I may not have written much lately but I have been reading a lot. I finished the graphic novel Signals to Noise by Neil Gaiman. It was interesting. Dave Mckeon's artwork in this is stunningly beautiful and darkly adds layers to Gaiman's writing. It won't top my lists of favorite graphic novels or anything but it was a good read and I'm glad The Wife added it to my library this christmas. I've been plugging through Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett. Its the latest in the discworld series and I think I may put it down until I read more of the earlier books in the series. Characters from earlier books have popped up without much of introduction and I want more of the back story before I get here. I'm sure I could read this without starting at the beginning of the series but I think I'd enjoy it more if I knew these characters better. I was very interested to see if Pratchett's writing had changed much since his diagnosis of Alzheimer's. None that I could see in the 150 pages I've gotten to in this. I also started reading Gaiman's Fragile Things which is a nice little collection of short stories and poems. I think I'm going to start reading more and more short story collections for awhile.


* * * *


Liam has been doing very, very well. He made it through the Holidays and his birthday without incident or illness and we are starting to get back into the routine of home nursing. Over the Christmas and New Years holidays we had very limited nursing help due to the calendar and some unfortunate family emergencies for our nurses. It was wonderful to spend so much time alone with Karin and Liam. The holidays are of course, a time for families, and having so much of it privately (especially since it was our first) was very special to us. Nursing care started getting back to normal last week and we are now able to get back into our routine of sorts. Routine can mean comfort.

Liam is of course growing like a weed and pushing through more and more teeth. His seizures have been controlled very well but he is getting a shot tomorrow that may give us a few more attacks in the coming days. We're ready. He'll be fine. Physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech and language pathology, and his vision specialist will all be starting to come to the house more often so Liam's schedule, which has been relaxed the past three weeks, will come back to a full sprint soon.


* * * *




This is one of my favorite songs of all time. Trying to find some footage of the Talking Heads performing it I found this. Not bad. Veder's range can't pull it off the way Byrne did though.


* * * *

A fantastic collection of photos of the urban decay of Detroit. Some of these seem pulled right from some post-apocalyptic movie. Sad.




Well, that's all I've got right now. Liam needs a new diaper and needs to be suctioned. Then, bed.

When we were kids my brother and sister and I would call this Christmas Eve Eve.

Another award winning photo taken by Karin and sent by email to cheer me up at work. The Boy takes a nap on the couch just like his daddy.

I've been late to my blogging duties but the good news is that thanks to a whole new strategy my scores in Tower Defense have climbed considerably. (I have a problem with these addicting little flash games and this one has taken over the past few nights.)

Karin has a phobia of people dressed up in those big head costumes and holiday characters. She already has anxiety about the prospect of a future trip to Disneyland. Its the way you can't see who people really are that bothers her. The Easter Bunny came to visit us all in the NICU on Easter and Karin's expression is priceless in all of the photos. So it comes as no surprise that all responsibility of bringing Liam to sit on Santa's Lap will fall on me. Still too susceptible to all the germs out there it isn't possible this year but in the future you can bet that Karin will be on the other side of the mall when Liam screams about the scary man in red shouting "Ho, Ho, Ho." in his face. Some of these Santas make me start rethinking whether or not I want to subject him to that either.


Liam and I are still plugging along with Bilbo, Gandalf and the Dwarves of Middle Earth. I'm excited because Liam is about to meet Gollum. And The Ring. I on the other hand have taken a very short break from fiction to read Barry Moser's In the Face of Presumptions. A gift from Mom for Christmas a few years ago I have read it a few times already but the essays lend themselves to re-reads. Born in the deep south and spending a few years as a Pentecostal preacher, Moser would later pick up and move to Massachusetts to become a master Print and Bookmaker as well as teaching at colleges all over the Northeast. My dad met him by taking his class at RISD. They would later become colleagues and friends. His pieces inspire art. His attitude that talent is far more common than the determination, and hard work needed to produce "good" art reminds me that anyone can do what they want as long as they are willing to do the work. A good read and helping me to tap back into my more creative side.

We are a bustle of energy here at the Olson house as we prepare for Liam's 1st birthday with a frenzied sense of anticipation. A major milestone for sure. Christmas morning with my family will also happen here and so we are eagerly awaiting a fun weekend of holiday cheer.




It occurs to me that I have never introduced the cats. The Boys. Or at least that's what we used to call them before The Boy came around. Linus and Calvin. They are incredibly good with the baby. Linus (the mostly black cat in the back of the photo) has been a part of the family since Karin and I first moved in together in Vermont. October 1998. Linus' mother was a mostly feral Vermont barn cat. He was only 4 weeks old when we got him. Smart, fast, and strong he changed the way I always thought about cats, as I am partial to dogs. He has always ruled the house and now that he realizes he still comes before me in the pecking order is ok with handing over control to Liam. He is usually not far from Liam although he has only rarely gotten close enough for Liam to touch him. Protective and observant, the nurses have taken to calling him Nurse Linus as he is always there watching them. He's my eyes on the boy when we aren't around. Calvin is the mostly white cat front and center. Rescued from a New Jersey shelter at 9 months he is much less intelligent than Linus. Kind of fat, a bit lazy and always begging to be fed he would never survive outside but he is the affectionate one and loves to be around Karin. He is fine with Liam being around but shows little to no interest. He is much more interested in the stuffed animals in his crib than he is in the baby. There you have it, Mom and Dad, Liam and two cats, now you know the whole clan.

I hope Christmas treats you all well. I hope you all get to spend time with the ones you love because it really is all that is truly important. Night all.

Ready to call it the best Blizzard of 09.

I used to get a lot of nosebleeds as a kid. Radiator heat, along with a woodburning stove in the house I grew up in, meant dry, dry, dry air. A cast iron kettle of water on top of the woodburning stove aside, any humidifier would have to struggle to keep up in our house and so I knew all the tricks to stopping a noosebleed. I even have a big book of Ripley's Believe It or Not illustrations with a huge blood splatter on page 132 due to an unfortunate nosebleed during some after bedtime reading with my little brother. I should scan that page to show you. Anyway, nosebleeds weren't that big a deal. A bit of rolled up tissue, a pinch to the bridge of your nose and lean forward, or lean back, a wad of bread stuffed between your upper lip and front gums - I knew everything to try. I had it under control.

Liam can't have a nosebleed. Sure his sinuses and air passages can dry out just like anybody else's, but breathing through his neck means the blood has nowhere else to go. This morning Liam scared me more than he has since he got home. His trach tube seemed filled with blood and panic was about to set in. Karin grabbed her phone and I thought she was calling 911 because its what I was about to do but she was calling our pulmonologist's nurse practitioner who has helped us out of all our jams. Its good thing that Mom's cooler head prevailed because it seems that these type of events are very common in the wintertime for trachs. Another one of those things that you don't learn about until it happens. Now I know. I won't make that mistake again. We suctioned him a few times and adjusted his heater and humidifier to compensate for the dryness in the air due to our radiator heat. Liam is none the worse for wear. The whole event was much more traumatic on me than it was on him and when it was all over he simply rolled back onto his side and went back to sleep. Ho-Hum.


I am proud to say that after all that excitement and after shovelling the waist-high snow that drifted onto my driveway, I created the greatest Blizzard meal ever. Sure the ingredients were all made by my Mother-In-Law and so I can't take all the credit. And yes, Karin gave me a few of the ideas that really helped the execution but I was the one in the kitchen so its my dish. The Thanksgiving Casserole. The Turkey Shepherd's Pie. The Blizzard Bake. Yeah, I like that last one.


The Blizzard Bake.
Grease casserole dish with a thin layer of butter and press a layer of leftover stuffing to create the crust. a few tablespoons of reheated Turkey gravy and a thick layer of shredded turkey meat. A few more tablespoons of gravy and layer on some frozen peas. Salt and pepper before topping the whole thing with leftover mashed potatoes. A few tablespoons of melted butter over it all to form a nice crusty top. 400 degree oven for an hour. Delicious.





It may not present as the most beautiful dish in my repertoire but it certainly is the most filling and satisfying on a cold blustery day after spending a few hours shovelling snow.

I feel that I should mention that Karin hates it when I take pictures of our food. She thinks I'm being weird when I won't let her eat until I take a few pictures of the plate. She's the weird one - here's a picture of her dinner in case you were wondering.

As I mentioned in yesterday's post Karin and I have truly been anticipating a day like this for years and we were not disappointed. A full day of quiet togetherness as the snow continued to fall outside. Pajamas stayed on all day and each and every one of us got to take a nap. The coffee was delicious and the Patriots beat The Bills. What's better than that?

Christmas (and winter) is here.

Christmas has finally hit the Olson house.

With the impending blizzard on its way I spent the morning running our errands for the weekend and In-Law's visit. Most important errand was of course the purchase of our first family Christmas tree. Its a nice one. We didn't really get a chance to celebrate the holiday last year because we spent it in the hospital so we have been hoping to make up for that this year. I bought the tree down the road and started getting the lights put on as soon as I got home.

Karin's parents came up from New Jersey to spend the weekend. Undeterred by the forecast of a foot of snow they are safely staying in a hotel tonight after spending a wonderful day with us. My Mother-In-Law cooked an absolutely delicious dinner while Karin and I decorated the tree. After both, we had our own private Christmas as they will be at home in New Jersey for the 25th. The ornament pictured is one of our gifts from them and is prominently displayed front and center on the tree. We had a great day getting ready for the holiday and for tonight's storm. Weather Channel on TV all day as we waited patiently for the flakes.

With the amount of snow outside now, I can't tell you how happy I am that our new home has a garage.

After the In-Laws left, Karin and I tidied up the house, got Liam ready for bed and watched a movie as the first inches started to fall outside. I forgot how good a movie Ratatouille is. The scene at the end when the critic tastes the dish blows me away every time. Nothing can bring the mind back to childhood like a familiar taste. Sometimes, food is magic.

On the topic of underestimating things, Karin has been watching King of the Hill on Cartoon Network at night and again, I forgot how funny, smart, and well written that show is. Flying under the radar for all those years.

Although I really like the new Christmas tree ornament pictured above, this one is my new favorite. This is a Bivona 3.5 neonatal trach. Its a custom fitted Flex-tend model. The balloon, or cuff, on the end pointing up towards the tree is compromised and unable to hold its place in Liam's airway anymore. It was Karin's idea after sanitizing it to string it up with some silver holiday string and display it on the Christmas tree. I love it. I suppose it could be seen as gross but the gallows humor that has developed between Karin and I in the last year makes this both funny and touching.


I really miss my photoshop. Gotta get the upstairs desk and computer situation worked out pronto.


Outside there is probably 4 or 5 inches on the ground and the storm has just gotten started. First storm in the new house and we have battened down the proverbial hatches. Batteries are charged up for the vent and pumps, refrigerator is full and we have nowhere to go until Monday afternoon. I have been looking forward to being snowed in with the family for months and it has happened with the first storm of the season. Yay me! Books will be read. Pictures will be taken. Football will most definitely be watched and hopefully, naps will be taken.

Well, Liam is asleep in the crib next to me and I am fading fast. Another Law & Order rerun just started on cable and my pillows are calling my name. My house and heart are decorated in holiday cheer and I am feeling upbeat and positive about the coming season and new year.

Today was a good day.

One year ago.

December 18th 2008. One year ago today. A bit nerve wracking but a pretty routine Thursday. It was free meal day at work. Once a year the hospital where I work feeds all of its employees a free turkey dinner with all the fixins' as a thank you and holiday celebration. Eggnog poured while you wait in line, along with cheese platters and passed h'ors duevers. Pie and cake served by the top brass of the hospital and an overall goodtime and holiday cheer. A day that for most employees has that 'last day of school' kind of feel. Most employees, but not mine. I run the cafeteria. This is our super bowl. The day that we are told in January that we are not allowed to take a vacation around. The planning starts weeks and weeks earlier. I thought at the time that it was real stress. I used to think that food was something worth worrying about.

I don't have to work until 11:30am, which was very helpful to us throughout the pregnancy because we would have at least 3 doctors appointments a week. Scheduling them in the morning afforded me the luxury of being there to support Karin and see every ultrasound in person without using any sick time or go unpaid. On this morning I thought I might be cutting it close but the fact that Liam wasn't growing at a rate they were happy with, there was no way I would be missing this one. Work would have to wait. The cafeteria would get on fine without me for a few minutes. Or for what I thought would be a few minutes. Level II ultrasounds aren't always necessary. For most pregnancies they aren't even used but with our history this was our fifth during Liam's pregnancy alone. After the first two though they were used just to get the most accurate measure of his length. Liam grew in spurts like most kids but lately his spurts had gotten smaller and smaller.

The Prenatal Diagnostic Center or PDC at Women & Infants Hospital has always been a stressful place for Karin and I. Good news was rarely heard while next to the big old GE ultrasound unit the size of a SmartCar. We had been through this drill before in our 5 year journey to bring home a baby. The room remained dark while Dr. Carr performed the procedure and Karin and I squeezed each other's hands while we waited for his results. As sweetly as he could, he put his hand on ours and gave us the news.

"He's growing alright." He said in his compassionate and positive way. "and all the parts I need to see are there but he's not growing nearly as much as he should be. Now there are things that we do in this situation to make sure that things go smoothly. Bed rest. We'll put you on bed rest so that we can make sure that all of your body's energy can be dedicated to providing for that beautiful little guy. And this way we can better monitor his growth and if we need to - we may need to take him out a little early to care for him in the hospital. He will show us what he needs and we'll be able to give him that but it means that your bed rest will need to be in the hospital." The words we painful. Like a hard freezing rain stinging my cheeks as they hit me. I think we both saw it coming but our hope kept us from really entertaining the thought. Dr. Carr held Karin's other hand in his and asked if she had any questions.

"So I can go home and get some clothes and things together and go to the hospital tomorrow?" She asked as she fought back tears.

"I'm sorry, you'll be admitted now." Dr. Carr said with a frown and patted her hand lightly. "We'll call ahead so we can get a room set up for you. We'll make sure you don't have to wait in the emergency room at all." You'll have fetal monitor tests three times a day and we'll get ultrasounds every few days to check on his growth. I'm sorry Mrs. Olson but this is the best option to make sure we do what's best for the baby."

We knew that. He left us alone in the dark room and we collected our thoughts. We cried and we held each other and we told each other that everything was going to be Ok. We had been here before. A few years previous we had been admitted to Women & Infants to have our first son Ben. He had passed away after 26 weeks gestation. This whole situation felt all too familiar. Familiar but different. Instinct? ESP? Call it a gut feeling but I refused to believe that we would have a repeat of that. I knew this time would be different and Karin and I held each other and agreed that God would not do this to us again. What kind of a God would he be if he did?

Being admitted to the hospital seems like a blur to me now. I already knew every employee of the hospital; I had been feeding them lunch everyday for about 4 years. Cashing their checks at the credit union in the basement for a few years prior to that so I knew all of these people well. A blessing and a curse. Stephanie in admitting made sure that we got a nice big corner room with a decent view and a private bathroom. She was helpful and professional, and we were quickly whisked upstairs to unpack and settle in. Nurses bustled in and out of the room to take vitals and fill out paperwork. A whirlwind of activity surrounded us as Karin and I moved in slow motion reeling from the events of the past two hours and trying to comprehend how we would survive the possibility of Karin staying in the hospital for three and a half more months until Liam's due date. I made a list of things we would need from home. I remember my hands shaking as I wrote it and we both broke down as we called our parents to break the news.

My parents came to the hospital to sit while I raced home for supplies. Karin's parents made arrangements to get up to RI from NJ as quickly as they possible could. My year long education in family, love and support was about to begin. Lessons in being loved and supported while at the same time loving and supporting.

I was able to bring everything that I could for the night and Karin and I played cards and watched Law & Order re-runs on cable to try and settle our nerves. My co-workers called and sent up any food items that Karin and I could have desired. If we so much as thought about getting hungry the diet office would send up someone with a snack. Karin got settled into bed and as the evening drew on we had our first non-stress test on the fetal monitor and endured 20 minutes of stress and pain. In essence the test involves listening to his heart beat for 20 minutes as small impulses in the test monitor its activity under stimulus. Liam liked to swim around in there and every move would make it difficult for the instruments recording his heartrate to pick him up. Each time the heartbeat would stop recording, our hearts would skip with him. All breaths held until the rhythmic thump returned. We would play that game three times a day for the duration of Karin's stay.

The night nurses in the long term/ high risk floor have a pretty good system for ensuring quiet on the floor. Ambiens all around! I kid about the nurses but we found that most patients we spoke with would also be given some sort of sleep aid by their doctors. The stress of the visit alone would keep anyone awake and sleep was important for both Karin and Baby. Karin and I argued back and forth over whether or not I would spend the night and she won so I was pushed out the door to go home and spend time with our cats. Sleep was important to me too (so said Karin) and I reluctantly returned home.

One year ago. The start of it all. Life would never be the same and its hard for me to remember what life was like before that day. Today at work it was all I could think about. As we approach Liam's birthday I'll be re-posting entries from my Carepage written nearly everyday for the first few months Liam's life. I'll give some thoughts on looking back on those days knowing what I know now. They won't all be this long or in depth but this is how it all got started. I am looking forward to this project with excitement and more than a little fear. I haven't looked at those pieces or the copious notes I took at the time and I'm not entirely sure that I am ready to process it all. But the more I look back on where we started, the more I am filled with pride about my family and where we are today. This has by far been the most stressful, difficult, and trying year of my life. This has also been the most fulfilling, loving, and wonderful year of my life.

And it all started, one year ago, today.

The furthest from home he's ever been.

The title of this post should of course be read in the voice of Samwise Gamgee.

We packed up the big boy this morning and headed north to Boston for Liam's eye doctor appointment. It was actually a momentous day because while travelling farther than he ever has this was also the longest amount of time that Liam has been away from the house since he's come home from the hospital. There was a tremendous feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day as we not only survived, we thrived. We were prepared for anything, and we endured the stress of being that far from our comfort zone.

We started the day early because the Boston traffic can make the hour long drive take 2 and sometimes three hours long. Of course, its Boston and so you also have to factor in some "being lost time". I have yet to drive in or out of Boston without getting lost and today would be no exception. Karin got Liam ready while I got all of the supplies into the car. His suction rig, extra cargo batteries for the vent, the go-bag (an emergency bag that always stays with Liam, which contains the spare trachs, ambu bag, syringes, vent tubing, gloves and other sterile supplies for a trach emergency) feeding pump and formula, diaper bag, medical paperwork bag and as much bottled oxygen as I could fit in the car with us. Add to that the stroller in the trunk and we were ready to get going. Until I realized that there wasn't any room in the car for Karin. While not all of it was necassary today we have no way of knowing what equipment we may need at any given time. Everything needs a backup or two in case of some sort of equipment falure. I took everything out and repacked the car to make room and off the three of us went on our adventure.

Liam likes the car. I have heard many people talk about putting their kids in the car to get them to sleep but Liam usually stays awake and watches the world go by the windows. He doesn't mind it at all and didn't give us any problems today. We made our way into the city limits before I got really lost and started to panic about the fact that I had no idea where I was and only a vague idea of where I was headed. After a few lucky guesses and a call to the Children's Hospital to have them help us get there we ended up only a half an hour late. Driving in Boston sucks and at one point I passed four sidestreets in a row all one-way streets going in the opposite direction I was heading. How do you have four blocks of one-ways going the same way??? Only in Boston.

After making it in to the hospital and finding the office things went very smoothly for the rest of the day. We weren't forced to wait very long and all of the doctors we saw were helpful and compassionate and were very good with Liam. Liam's vision is actually stronger than we were expecting and his eyes and vision will continue to develop until he is about three years old. Liam has severe eye damage but things are apparently not as terrible as Karin and I were prepared to hear. Which is nice. With most of Liam's doctor visits the exam can take place no matter what his mood or alertness, but the eye doctor needs a fair amount of cooperation and while Liam is very quiet, polite, and well behaved when doing so, would prefer to do the opposite of what any doctor needs him to do. He spent much of the time during all today's tests either closing his eyes or craning his neck to look anywhere but where they needed him to. I didn't sit in traffic for two and a half hours to get incomplete data and he was going to sit there until he got it right! He eventually did and we are all quite pleased with the results.

The ride home was quick and uneventful. I got to listen to the radio broadcast of John Lackey's press conference on becoming a member of the Red Sox which was cool and the three of us knew we were on the tail end of a long day. I would be leaving to go to work once we got home and unloaded but we made the best of it and when we returned home Karin and Liam both got to take naps. I can't tell you how proud I am of my whole family. This could have been a tremendously trying day but since we were well prepared and because Liam is such a well-behaved little guy things went as smoothly as we could have hoped. Long trips and time spent away from our comfortable little shelter aren't as intimidating any more. Watch out world, here come the Olsons!

Appointments

Liam had an appointment at the pediatrician's office today. Its been one month since we've seen the good doctor which is the longest its ever been since meeting him. He's a big fan of Liam's. Nothing to report as it was a well visit. Just a few questions to keep the chart up to date and a quick but thorough physical examination. Liam is now weighing in at a plump 21 pounds 2 ounces!! I have friends who have a 2 year old that weighs 24 pounds. He is now 26 inches long which is pretty low on the curve but we aren't worried about that. He's just the right size for us.

Having the quick Dr.'s appointment today is actually a big help because tomorrow we have to pack up the whole kit and kaboodle and head on up to Boston. One of the meds that Liam is on has a side effect which can damage the retina of the patient. In order to release the med to anyone they need to prove that the patient has follow up appointments with an eye doctor and they referred us. Liam's retinas are very compromised as it is due to his retinopathy of prematurity. His left retina is completely detached and his right was only saved by a very long and specialized surgery up in Boston by one of the country's leading eye surgeons.

I am not worried about the appointment itself but I am nervous about driving up there. Maybe nervous isn't the right word. Anxious? I would be feeling this way even if it were only me heading to the doctors. I just hate driving into Boston at 9am.

This will be the farthest from home we have ever been since Liam left the hospital. It will also be the longest amount of time Liam has left the house since coming home. The list of things not to forget in the morning is enormous. We've been over it and over it and I think we finally have everything ready. BE sure to read tomorrow night to find out what it was that we did forget because you know it will be something.

Well 6am comes quick and we have a nurse tonight so that we can get some sleep before tomorrow's adventure so I better take advantage of it. Good night.

Just some photos

A quick blog tonight (this morning) to put up some photos I took this morning. I spent most of the day decorating the outside of the house for the holidays but my morning was spent rolling around on the floor with my boy.


Lots of seizures again today but we are still hopeful that it will subside soon as his body gets used to all the meds we gave him on thursday and friday. If we don't see a change tomorrow we'll talk to neurology on monday and adjust his dosages to nip it in the bud.

What are you looking at?
That's what I thought.

Have a great night and a good weekend and a happy Hanukkah for all of my Jewish friends.

Lucky

Bit of a tough couple of days to be honest. The past two days have been the most stressful I've had in quite a while. Let's break it down bullet style! These are listed in order of stress level. Least worrisome to sick to my stomach.

• Work sucks and is stressing me out like crazy but that one goes without saying.
• Liam's upcoming first birthday open house is quickly coming and there is so much left to do to get ready. Christmas has taken a backseat to the 26th's festivities and we have not pulled out the christmas decorations yet. Spending last christmas in the hospital has us a little rusty and we are far short of christmas cheer.
  
• Insurance snafu brought on by a clerical error at my employer's payroll department was still unresolved until last night. Spent all week hoping that it would be fixed before we ran completely out of a couple of Liam's meds. One of which is close to $900 for 2 doses which we would have had to pay out of pocket and hope that it got reimbursed when the error was fixed. I made phone calls all day everyday trying to fix an error that was made in an office three states away from where I work and trying to get 6 different companies and entities to co-ordinate their information. It is fixed, for now but it will be a while before I trust that things are being covered correctly and this will only lead to more time spent on the phone just making sure things are right. Awesome. [Side note on this. People I have spoken to about this who are in pretty good health never seem to think that its that big a deal. "the paperwork will get fixed" they say. "Its a no brainer, once they see its not your fault it'll be fixed right away" They say. This is naive thinking. The only priority for my large insurance company who will remain nameless is to spend as little money on Liam as they can. That's how they stay in business. They are and always will be looking for a reason to drop us from their coverage due to the fact that Liam's lifelong medical needs will cost them enormous amounts of money. The threat of them denying me future coverage because of Liam's "pre-existing condition" (namely - birth) was very, very real. The for profit Insurance based health care system in this country is severely broken]
• Liam got his RSV vaccine yesterday and his H1N1 booster today. That's a lot of shots for Liam in two days and it didn't take long to see it really mess him up. It seems that according to his neurologist, both vaccines can reduce the effectiveness of his seizure meds while also inducing more seizures. He had seven seizures yesterday and to be honest I have lost count of how many today. (He had 2 in the time it took me to write this post) Hopefully this wears off tomorrow or the next day as it should but it is difficult to see him so uncomfortable so often. The worst part is that other than picking him up and snuggling him through it, there is nothing we can do to help him feel better. Add to that the fact that it is suggested we not give him tylenol tonight because it reduces the effect of the H1N1 vaccine; poor kid's head must be pounding.

I guess that's the extent of my list and in the grand scheme of things I have very little to complain about. My boy is at home and not in the hospital. I have a job in these very trying economic times. I have the weekend off from said job. My son's condition forces me to pick him up all the time to hug him and snuggle him and rub his head and comfort him. His first christmas and birthday are fast approaching and both are going to be wonderful celebrations of how far he's come. Liam just fell asleep in my arms and Garden State just started on cable. On second thought, I guess I've got things going pretty well. Happy holidays everyone.

Living in the Future.

Even when I was working hard to become a photographer I didn't do all that much photo "editing" in Photoshop. Nothing excessive. A dodge and burn here and there but mostly a tweak of the levels and trying to get as much done in the RAW conversion as I could. I used to think that maybe it would be best to just shoot jpeg and save myself the step. Now I know better. I need my photo editing computer up and running because posting these shots only using the editing of Picassa is killing me. I need control! Photo was taken by the wife the other day. Good stuff.

Photography frustrations aside things are going pretty well. Work has been getting better. It seems that I really did win the most recent long running battle with the insurance company and they are going to do the right thing. Although we still have occasional "events" here and there, the seizure meds are working well and the tweaking of his doses has Liam awake and alert for much longer stretches of time. Physical therapy is going well, Liam and Mom learned some new exercises today while I was at work and he just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Nursing care can still be tough because we just want to have our own house to ourselves more often but boundaries are being set and we are better at letting our expectations be known.

I hung our first Christmas wreath on the front door yesterday. Family tradition states that just like we used to say in my church as a kid "Merry Christmas and may it last 'til Easter" we will keep it hanging until Easter. The trick is to flip it over around groundhog day to get a bit more green needles for your buck. I will post a picture soon and hope to hang more lights soon to go along with the wreath.

There's still a bit of white stuff on the ground but it is icy, crunchy stuff. I'm looking for the fluffy stuff. The stuff that can quickly have you looking at more than a few inches to shovel but if you get out there before it freezes together will push right off with ease. Staying home with my wife and son during a major snowstorm is another one of the dreams I've been waiting so long to come true. During last winter we had a few pretty major snow storms with some good accumulation. Through it all, Karin and I made our way back and forth to the hospital every day. Looking forward to a day when we would be able to see our son without changing out of our pajamas. A warm cup of cocoa, the morning paper, fluffy white stuff piling up outside and my boy with me on the couch. I can't wait for that. That's why I'm hoping for big snow storms every weekend this winter.

I've started reading The Hobbit to Liam. It's been so much fun. We aren't very far into the book and I'm already struggling with my voices. All those dwarves and Gandalf along with them is proving to be a bit low for my range and I'm needing more pauses for water. But Tolkein's conversational storytelling style along with songs makes it so much fun to read. This was an important book to my family as my father was so taken with it that I can remember him reading from it at the dinner table when I was a kid. The nurses and Liam's mom read him the big large picture books showing him brightly painted penguins and elephants but I like it just the same to have Liam rest his head on my chest with only my soothing voices comforting him to sleep.

Karin mentioned the fact that we had a photo shoot for a holiday card on her facebook page and within minutes we had about a dozen emails of peoples addresses to receive said card. It was a bit strange how quickly it happened. It is incredible how this baby boy who has been so sheltered from people and germs that he has yet to meet all of his family that even live in this area has touched so many lives because of the internet. We truly are living in the future.